


Always With Him

by ladyshakespeare



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Always, F/M, Friendship, Hope you were surprised which Doctor I chose, Love, One Shot, Short One Shot, remembering
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-28
Updated: 2020-05-28
Packaged: 2021-03-02 20:20:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 751
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24422674
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ladyshakespeare/pseuds/ladyshakespeare
Summary: The Doctor finds an item from his past self and remembers. One-shot.
Relationships: The Doctor (Doctor Who)/Rose Tyler
Comments: 7
Kudos: 17





	Always With Him

He paused when he saw it. A memory flashed. A moment of blond hair. She was with him still.

" _Forever,"_ echoed somewhere in the back of his mind.

He picked it up gently, as though it would fall apart in his hands. It didn't. It was still sturdy as ever. He held the purple jacket in his arms. It was as though no time had passed. He remembered the last time he saw her wearing it. Boy, she was beautiful that day. It had been an uneventful trip to the planet Kala, where they did some shopping. It was there that he had purchased that "bio-damper" ring, which he had originally planned to give to Rose, not Donna. Her hair glowed in the planet's pink sun, framing her like an angel. If possible, the Doctor had fallen more in love with her at that moment.

_My pink-and-yellow human._

Closing his eyes, he brought the jacket to his nose. Taking a deep whiff, he sighed. It still smelled of her. Vanilla. He held it to his nose a moment longer, reveling in the memories that now flooded his Time Lord brain.

Her laugh. Her smile. Her tongue-in-teeth that always got him. The way she completed him. Always up for an adventure.

"Rose," he said quietly, pulling the jacket away from his nose and staring at it again.

A noise from behind startled him. He jumped and quickly put the jacket in his bigger-on-the-inside pockets. He turned.

"There you are my love," River said. "What have you been doing?"

He turned off the light in the closet and stepped out. "Nothing essential."

River smiled and walked to the bed, sitting down and taking her shoes off. The Doctor watched her. She was a good friend. Unlike her, he had never fallen in love. Well, not with her. Only one holds that distinction.

He didn't have the heart to break River's that way. He couldn't. Though he had told her, in his younger form, that only one would hold his hearts, River believed she could replace her. Silly humans. They always want to compete.

The Doctor scoffed at that. Replace Rose? Never. She was one in a million. One in an entire universe.

" _She's my plus one,"_ the voice of his leather-clad self now echoed in his ears.

If he lived to be one million, if he changes his face a thousand more times, Rose will always be with him. His Bad Wolf. His Moment.

Gently padding the pocket where the jacket was as he removed his slippers, he sat down on the opposite side of the bed and laid his head on the pillow. River turned, snuggling up to him and kissing his cheek.

"Goodnight, my love."

He wrapped an arm around her, as he always did. But he said nothing, as he always did. He couldn't. He couldn't tell River he loved her when it wasn't the truth. She was worth more than a lie. They had been through much together, had married at Amy and Rory's insistence. Keeping River around was keeping them around. And he needed a friend.

_Even if it's not exactly the one I want._

A strand of silver hair fell in his eye but he didn't bother to move it. He laid there, his mind still flooded with memories and smells of his pink-and-yellow human. The one person in all the universes he actually loved.

He wondered why now. Why after all this time? Then he realized it didn't matter. She could randomly pop up in his mind at any time. It doesn't change the fact that he was and always will be in love with Rose Tyler.

He looked down at River. She was a good companion. A good friend. The TARDIS liked her. But River was definitely not something he wanted, something his hearts wanted. Something he _needed._

As though confirming, he heard the hum of the TARDIS. He smiled slightly. He knew the old girl had been one of the driving forces to remind him of Rose. Whenever he wanted to forget, feeling that he needed to forget, the TARDIS would tell him he couldn't. Because true love never forgets. Not completely.

" _Nothing is ever forgotten, not completely. And if something can be remembered, it can come back,"_ his eleventh-self whispered in his ear.

He sighed and closed his eyes. Blond hair and cinnamon eyes flashed before him again. He smiled, knowing that his Bad Wolf was still with him. She always would be.

**Author's Note:**

> Hopefully, you River supporters weren't too upset at this. I personally have never liked River, but I wanted to write her with some sympathy. Because we all know that the Doctor truly loves one person. At least, that's my story and I'm sticking to it!


End file.
